The Wall

I don't know who built it, but I'm tearing it down!

It's the best and the worst part of a workout. This past Saturday was a perfect example. It was 5pm. I was exhausted from the day (even though it didn't feel like I had really done anything!), hadn't made or even thought of what to make for dinner, dishes piled in the sink, baby starting to get fussy, and I didn't have much time before I would need to be back from the gym anyway - basically every excuse to stay home and skip the swim. But a supportive and insistent husband practically pushed me out the door, for which I am grateful. 

Well, I nearly dozed off in the warm pre-pool shower that everyone is "supposed" to take.  Thoughts of swimming pyramids led to slight fears of being found later at the bottom of the pool - I really did not have high hopes for how much I would accomplish. Just being in a suit, in the water, hair wet, with goggles squished to my face felt like some sort of victory in itself. But since I was there already and the only lane open was the "fast" lane, I decided I better not disappoint the spectators in the hot tub. 

I began with my usual 100m breaststroke warm-up....so why were my triceps already feeling the burn at 25m??? Yikes. Then, after a long breather, I took to freestyle. Somewhere in the next 100m (when I realized my time crunch), I got a crazy idea - "let's see how far I can swim before the time I have to leave". So 100m, turned into 200.....then 300.... then BAM! there it was, that blasted wall.

It rears its ugly head at different places for different people and activities, but it always shows up. No matter how many times you tear it down, it is magically resurrected by the next workout... but I suppose that is part of the fun. One thing I have noticed is that the more you consistently fight through it, the easier it becomes to fight the next time ("attitude memory"...similar to muscle memory). But it's like that game we used to play at recess, "red rover"... if you don't give your all to get through it, or you chose not to try at all, it then owns you and your progress is stopped.

So let me take you through my demolition process:

The first thing I feel when I hit "the wall" is what I will refer to as the resistance band effect (RBE). Picture a massive, thick rubber band.... then imagine tons of them connected to your limbs/muscles, all pulling in the opposite way you want to go.... that is what RBE feels like. There is a heaviness, a breathlessness, and usually some level of pain associated. Thoughts of "I can't do this anymore" are a common symptom.

This is what triggers the first of 3 steps I have identified to get through the wall:

#1. Panic - Your physical state induces a mental moment that shocks the system. When I hit that 300m mark on the swim and felt the RBE, my mind went into survival mode, turning my movements into chaos. Fundamentals? What fundamentals? In this phase, they are thrown out the window. The only purpose for this step is to get you to the next phase, so you best not dwell in it too long. As soon as you realize you have indeed struck the wall, you must allow your mind to enter the next phase. Stop freaking out!

#2. Pause - Now this does not mean that you stop what you are doing. It only indicates the need for taking a brief mental step back to allow yourself to get some kind of grip on this battle. This is where the mind truly takes over the fight and the way I see it you have two main weapons:  distraction or focus on form. This particular swim I chose the latter. And breathing...lots of breathing! My form became my only thoughts - it became my rhythm...you have to re-find your rhythm! "Kick, stroke, BREATHE, keep kicking, etc." You have to think it so loud that your ears can almost hear it, even under water; so loud that the screaming pain of your body becomes muffled by your focus. Each rhythmic cycle chisels away at that wall, one brick at a time.

Mirinda Carfrae - she's awesome

#3. Persistence - Then "just keep swimming" as they say...or running or biking or whatever it is you are doing. Your body may desparately want to revert back to the old ways of panic mode, but that cannot be allowed. Those who do the most damage to their wall and then turn back will find it harder than ever to return. Don't give up the fight. "let the rhythm take you over..." (name that tune!). Gradually, your thoughts can get quieter as your body stops fighting against you. And sooner or later, sometimes without even realizing it, you will be on the other side of the wall, victorious, feeling like you could go on forever.... For me, forever had to stop at 1000m due to time, but the feeling of overcoming is priceless. 

Anyway, that's just me...bring on the next one.

***Where does your wall strike? How do you tear it down?