Makings of an Iron-mom (Part I)

Pregnancy. Baby #2. Terrible Twos. My Current Triathlon.

Parent or not, everyone has their endurance tests, this just happens to be my current course. Welcome to my life this past year. Welcome to the beginnings of added chaos, exhaustion, uncertainty, and overwhelming...joy? Funny how that works. The most challenging situations often produce the greatest satisfaction. 

You may be familiar with the Ironman Triathlon - one of the most grueling, gutsy races in all of sports: 2.4 mile swim in open water, 112 mile bike, finished off with running an entire Marathon (26.2 mi). Well may I introduce you to my personal Ironman - the one that tests the limits of the body, mind, heart, and soul: the "Iron-mom".

 "Challenging" is exactly what it has been to re-schedule, re-prioritize, and re-balance my life during/since the carrying and birth of my son, especially when it comes to fitness. Let me share a bit of what I have gained from this real-life endurance race so far. Life lessons are everywhere.

First Leg - Second Pregnancy.

Expect the Unexpected. Wow. That was totally not like the first. Perhaps because this time I had a one-year-old daughter to chase around, or maybe it's that my body was already partially out-of-order from the first go, but whatever the reason, it was different. And that is just how it is for everyone - you don't know what it will be like for you or for anyone else. For myself, compared to round 1 it was harder to sleep, easier to focus, harder to remember things, less nausea (thank goodnes!), more tired during the day, and bigger appetite. I became huge way faster, but I was less hard on myself because I knew what to expect. Or did I? I suppose you never know, and that is okay. Just because you puked your guts out the first time, doesn't necessarily mean you will this time. Even if you craved dish soap or constantly wanted to ingest some other unnatural product, this time you may just want fruit, like a normal human being. In the same sense, just because you struck out once, doesn't mean it will happen every time. Sometimes I have caught myself sinking into that mindset - expecting the worst in order to protect myself from unmet expectations. I get myself worked up about camping with kids because last time I was up all night to a wiggly, attention-seeking, adorable little girl (slightly less adorable at 3am in a cold tent...). The problem with that is the fears of yesterday taint the experiences and opportunities of today. The expectations make me not want to go at all, but the truth is that it can be better next time around, and it likely will be if I allow myself to take the risk to enjoy and make precious memories.

Not only do we hold ourselves back based on our own expectations, but the expectations and assumptions that others try to place upon us. This second pregnancy was like that. I read up on every possible article or book or random post on Facebook to tell me what was going to happen to my body, baby, and way of life for those 9 months, even though it wasn't my first rodeo. These are some things I heard:
-  "[So-and-so] ran a marathon at 30 weeks, so you can too!". Wait, why can't I do that? 
- "Don't sleep on your back ever, or your baby will definitely die". Ok, so I exaggerated that one, but I still found myself paranoid every time I woke up in the middle of the night on my back. 
- "If you find yourself eating lots of salty things, it must be a boy". Or you could just wait til your 20wk ultrasound and know for sure! 

We all try to find out or pretend we know what's going to happen before it happens and get ourselves flustered about something that may or may not really happen! [Deep breath]. Relax. Have a little faith. Whatever does happen will be worth it and for the best in the end. It is good to be informed and educated. Expectations and curiosity are normal, but I learned (and am still learning) to not let them run away with my head... or my energy.

Hike to Grinnell Glacier, Glacier NP. Worth every step. (4 Months along)

Energy is like money - invest it, don't just spend it. You only have so much of that anyway, especially when pregnant. Make sure to channel it in the places that really matter and will pay back dividends. For instance, prenatal exercise. For many out there, pregnancy and exercise in the same sentence brings about the drudge look and that "not gonna happen" sigh. I myself had plenty of "I don't feel up to it" days, and many moments of feeling like a train wreck circus in hot air balloon form, but I never once regretted a workout. Perhaps the biggest thing I did right was to simply keep trying. I knew I couldn't do everything, but what mattered is that I could do something, and I gave it my all to do that something. I often failed, but I never stopped trying. The persistence itself was a big-time gain.

(Hint to the men: If you think your wife needs to exercise more, don't ever try to solve her problem by telling her she needs to exercise, or you can expect some sort of projectile in your general direction. Simply ask, "What can I do to help you, honey?", and mean it.)

They say that exercise is also supposed to help you gain energy, and usually it does, but for me during the first trimester, it seemed to only make me narcoleptic. It was ridiculous. I specifically remember several times playing with my daughter, only to find myself waking up! I had actually fallen asleep right in the middle of building a Mega Bloks tower and who knows how long I was conked out! Luckily my daughter was found reading books to her doll, but that is the kind of exhausted I was. Still, I tried to do as much activity as possible for the long-term benefits, even if I felt like a slug while doing so. I walked (or shuffled), I swam (or flapped in the water), I hiked (huffing and puffing), I biked (belly and all!), and had to keep telling myself it would be worth it. One foot in front of the other. Keep the momentum. One thing I did have in my corner was double motivation - my body and my baby. Like I said, I kept trying, and it did pay off. Though exhausted, both my mind and my body began to feel more fit and strong - the results that really matter - and I had an inner belief that strength was transferring to my baby in some way. And who knows, maybe those extra walks helped me be able to look down and see my feet just a little bit longer.  I couldn't do everything, but I could do something.

What was my biggest "something"? When I was 4 months pregnant with Joseph, I decided to TRI again (something I love) with a local sprint triathlon. Somehow I came in 1st place in my age group! But it is more about the journey than the destination. Although the first place medal was an exciting surprise, the true accomplishment was that I had consistently sacrificed in order to train. Every day? No. For hours? Not even close, but enough to still feel a change for the better, mentally and physically. Because of that, race day was incredibly rewarding. I had set the goal months before, which was key. Discover the something that motivates you and go for it.

Myself (center) and fellow placers in my age group

Cherish Your Children. Another place to put that hard-to-come-by energy. I have realized that whether we give them the energy or not, they will take it one way or another, so why not take charge of how it gets passed along?

As baby boy came closer to his arrival, I began to understand how our lives would be forever changed. In all the excitement preparing for his birth, I had scarcely realized the truth that soon my daughter would never be an only child again, and my special time with just her would significantly diminish. I then made a point to hold on a little tighter to those precious moments, and create more of them. We went on more walks, we read more stories, we snuggled more, we crafted and baked together (aka we made messes together), we learned together. My changed perspective contributed to a more positive attitude on my part, which in turn produced a happier, cooperative child on her end. 

Last picture taken of my daughter as an
only child, the day before her brother was
born. Playing in Daddy's slippers. I live
for moments like this.

There are numerous things out there demanding our time and attention, many of which are good, but not best. Our children and families deserve the best we can give them, even when.... no, especially when they push our buttons. Which leads me to my last point (for now).

Find Sanctuary. Toward the end of the 9-months my aching back, loose hips, and lack of any sort of balance told me that I should stick to walking or swimming. Being in the pool was an absolute sanctuary from the weight and stress of carrying around a wiggling, karate kicking bowling ball (aka my little man). In the pool my thoughts became miraculously clear. My body could finally, really relax. Sometimes I would lie on top of the water, face down, doing the jellyfish float to fully enjoy the weightlessness. Looking back, that may have made the lifeguard a little nervous, but they hardly pay any attention during lap swim anyway.


My other opportunities for moments of clarity came from someone else. I now believe this is a must for moms. I made friends with another young mom who was searching for someone to swap babysitting during the day. We quickly learned that we both had similar wellness goals and would watch each other's girls weekly for a couple hours in order to help accomplish them. It was truly a win-win: good for the kids' social skills, and essential for our sanity! One of those mornings I went on one of the most refreshing hour-long bike rides of my life to a little place called Paradise. Yes, that is a real town, and boy did it live up to the name that day. I was then able to come back a more engaged, patient mother to an adventurous, independent toddler. When I allowed myself to fortify me, I then had the capacity to give to those I cared about most, without completely emptying the tank.  Simple accounting - if you spend more than you make, you are left in the hole. Investing the needed energy in myself, when appropriate, continues to produce exponential returns.

All that said, I share my experiences simply for ideas. Find what works for you and keep trying. Others' opinions may be noteworthy, but you know yourself better than anyone or any article (including this one). No comparing to others (no sense wasting energy with that). Set your goals, no one else's. Find your passion, keep your pace, and run your race.

(TO BE CONTINUED...The 2nd Leg)

Share with us:

What is your current life race and how are you enduring?
Where do you invest your energy?
What helps you cherish time with loved ones?
 How do you find your sanctuary?

10 Tips for More Consistent Exercise

Like they say, the hardest part is just showing up! Once you get moving and the *endorphins* kick in, the natural high makes you want to keep going! The tricky part is showing up consistently, with the least amount of drudgery possible. With an active 13-month-old daughter, I have come to understand the beginnings of the "mother's dilemma" when it comes to staying active yourself (and I only have 1 child!). Through my own experience, I have come up with 10 ideas to consider and implement that may change your life in a healthy way. I am completely unaware if any have been scientifically proven, but I stand by them just as firmly, as they have been game-changers for me in pursuing my athletic goals among the chaos of motherhood and life.

1. BELIEVE IN CHANGE - So it's been a while, huh? For you, a while could be a day, a week, a month, or even a year or more since you really buckled down and gave your body some healthy exercise. Well, the first step is mentally shoving away that attitude that you "haven't done anything for [this] long, so why start now?". To me that's just like saying, "I don't want to be happy today" because with all the benefits of exercise (more energy, *endorphins*, healthy heart, stronger muscles, de-stressing), it is a flat out lie to think that every missed opportunity in the past negates today's decision.Ever heard of "sunk costs"? Today is a new day. This is a new hour - your hour! Believe that it does matter and you can start fresh. I fall in the same trap sometimes, but it's crucial to get out of it as soon as possible to allow for a happier you.

2. EXERCISE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE "EXERCISE" - When you hear that dreaded word "exercise", what image runs through your mind? Perhaps a super-flexible-crazy-skinny woman doing some intense yoga pose? Is it a gigantic macho man lifting ridiculous weights that make every vein in his body come near to explosion? Or maybe it is the quickness and skill of a professional athlete making impossible moves look as easy as tying your shoes. Sounds daunting doesn't it? Well I have good news for you! Exercise doesn't always have to be "exercise". You don't have to do 100 pull-ups at a crossfit club or run 5 marathons like everyone and their dog on social media are doing to get in better shape and be consistent. An active lifestyle is just that - active. Be creative and find something you enjoy and maybe even love! Dance in the kitchen, race your children up the stairs. Play at the park (yes, even on the monkey bars!). Go for a walk downtown to see the sights. Take out any built-up aggression on a kickboxing routine from the library/internet. Even cleaning can be a calorie burner if that's what you're into - I sweat every time I scrub the tub! Practice an instrument - fiddling on the violin kills my arms, and it feels great! Learn something new and make it fun. Variety makes life beautiful.

3. GO FOR THE GOAL - Ever heard the quote, "If you don't know where you're going, you'll never get there"? To strengthen your resolve and foster a little excitement and motivation, set a challenging, yet reachable goal, and then keep track of your progress. For myself, that includes signing up for several triathlons throughout the year, or determining that I am going to go on at least 10 hikes with Leilani this Spring/Summer. For one thing, I know it will be major pain come race day if I don't train well! Pick what works for you, big or small, but set goals and do all you can to reach them. Plus, knowing you're on a journey to achieve something sparks an extra fire in every workout. 

4. GIVE YOURSELF A CARROT - Just like your children's sticker chart and fuzzy jar, even adults can be persuaded by a simple incentive. With goal setting comes goal achieving and celebration. Make your reward something fun, and perhaps something you normally wouldn't do or receive otherwise; something you are willing to work for. Know yourself and put out a carrot for an extra boost.

5. PLAN IT ON PAPER - Be honest, how many times has exercise fallen to the back burner because you "didn't have time" or you said you would "do it if there is time later "? As with many valuable activities in life (family bonding, spiritual growth, etc), sometimes you have to make and set aside specific time for things that are of most worth, since it is so easy to get distracted by the mundane and unimportant. Specific is key in this effort. I have recently been planning out my detailed workouts a week in advance, up to how many reps or how many minutes and at what intensity I plan on doing a specific activity each day of the week. It's a lot harder to come up with excuses when my mind has decided in advance precisely what I will do to strengthen my body that day. Writing it down makes it stick. The thought is not enough. Establish a training schedule. I circle all the workouts I actually finish and it is extremely rewarding to see the progress right in front of me and realize how much hard work I have done.

6. KNOW YOUR WEAKNESSES - For some it may be the opposite, but when it comes to my energy cycle, I tend to peak mid-morning (which just happens to be during my daughter's nap) and slump beginning in the early evening. The more I do throughout the day, the more there is to do (go figure)! If I put exercise off til the latter end of the day,by the time I finally get to it, I am so burnt-out tired and exhausted from the day's events that I don't have much desire to even do anything resembling lifting my lead bum off the couch! My 8-hour-ago-self may have been keen on that determination, but the current just shakes her head and begs for a pillow. Now I make a conscious effort to allow myself time before noon to enjoy a workout. Recognizing your tendencies of body and mind, and adjusting accordingly, can make all the difference 

7. ATTIRE FEEDS DESIRE - Believe it or not, sometimes the decision of "to run? or not to run?" can be heavily swayed by what I am wearing at the time I finalize that choice. For some it may be the shoes or the shirt, but for me it is the pants. I know it may sound like a ridiculous idea, but I am convinced that I am much more likely to follow through with my workout when I am simply dressed for the test. For instance, if I am wearing jeans for the day, I have about 60% less desire to work out, perhaps because it took 60% of my energy to get dressed in the first place! :) But if I take 20 seconds to do a simple change of wardrobe (i.e. into comfy, lightweight shorts/pants) before I make up my mind to workout, "voila!", my outlook shifts dramatically! I am that much more willing mentally to JUST DO IT when I am physically closer to that outcome, even in the tiniest sense. So if you are having a day where you "just don't feel like it", simply try changing outfits! Works for me! 

8. SOMETHING IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN NOTHING - Pretty self-explanatory. 10 minutes is better than 0 minutes. Even if you need to start small to be consistent, then do it. It is always better than doing nothing at all. 

9. PHONE A FRIEND - This isn't about "who wants to be a millionaire", but it is about who wants a rich and fulfilling lifestyle! Seek support from those who share similar goals and passions. After my college basketball days, I used to get up bright and early with a friend (Kim!) to run. It's something I would have never been able to do on my own, but knowing I was working together with someone else and that they were counting on me to be there too, pushed me to roll out of bed and put on the kicks. Every now and then we ended up falling asleep on the couch (not morning people), but overall it was more than would have happened had we not banded together. Find a buddy or a group - it does wonders. Currently, I'm looking forward to having new stroller running buddies and road biking companions to explore a new area since we have recently moved to Hyrum, UT!

10. HEALTH CLEAVETH TO HEALTH" - There is a scripture that says, "For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light..." (Doctrine & Covenants 88:40) In this same sense, I believe that as we do things to strengthen other parts of our lives (our relationships, diet, financial wisdom, service to others, spirituality, intelligence & education, etc.), it ignites a fire within that seeks after more of its kind: health. The more you do it, the more natural and easier it becomes to do it - the more it becomes a part of you - an attitude memory, similar to muscle memory. An active, healthy life is not just a habit, but a state of mind and an essence of being. 

Joy in the Journey

Well, 2014 was quite an active year, full of new adventures while being a new mom.  One of hiking.......

Cecret Lake UT

.........Climbing....................

Maple Canyon UT

..........Camping, Fishing.........

Washington Lake, UT

...............And Triathlons!

The first of the year was the Rock Cliff Sprint Tri at Jordanelle Reservoir. Great to get back into the open water again, although the cold temperatures made for an incredible headache on the water exit! 

 Someone even had a special present for Mommy at the finish line! Explosion diaper! Hooray!

The next was Saratoga Springs, a sprint triathlon I had done the previous year when I was 4 months pregnant with Leilani. This year it was more training than anything, getting ready for my first Olympic distance. But I did manage to get a huge PR (personal record) on the course by 13 minutes, as well as place 3rd overall for the women! LOVE the new bike, it cruises. 

Saratoga 2014 - Leilani checking out the award

The final tri of the year was the more grueling Olympic Distance at Pineview Reservoir, my first attempt at that length, and perhaps my last! :) There was frost on the grass as we arrived in Huntsville, quite a cold September morning. But the water was perfect for a nice 1 mile swim - that was my favorite part. There were times when my stroke was so in sync I felt like a fish gliding through the water - nothing like it. I worked a lot in the pool on my freestyle technique, so that was a huge payoff. The bike section, however, was loooooong.... come to find out afterward that one of my brakes had shifted so the pads had been partially braking me the entire ride of 34 miles.... nice one....

The run had been the hardest to train for. Having pretty much thrashed my knees from sports in high school and college, I have a difficult time running more than 3 or 4 miles without joint pain. And yes, I am not even 30! But I survived and it felt great to accomplish the feat. 

But I must say............

The joy is in the journey!

The Wall

I don't know who built it, but I'm tearing it down!

It's the best and the worst part of a workout. This past Saturday was a perfect example. It was 5pm. I was exhausted from the day (even though it didn't feel like I had really done anything!), hadn't made or even thought of what to make for dinner, dishes piled in the sink, baby starting to get fussy, and I didn't have much time before I would need to be back from the gym anyway - basically every excuse to stay home and skip the swim. But a supportive and insistent husband practically pushed me out the door, for which I am grateful. 

Well, I nearly dozed off in the warm pre-pool shower that everyone is "supposed" to take.  Thoughts of swimming pyramids led to slight fears of being found later at the bottom of the pool - I really did not have high hopes for how much I would accomplish. Just being in a suit, in the water, hair wet, with goggles squished to my face felt like some sort of victory in itself. But since I was there already and the only lane open was the "fast" lane, I decided I better not disappoint the spectators in the hot tub. 

I began with my usual 100m breaststroke warm-up....so why were my triceps already feeling the burn at 25m??? Yikes. Then, after a long breather, I took to freestyle. Somewhere in the next 100m (when I realized my time crunch), I got a crazy idea - "let's see how far I can swim before the time I have to leave". So 100m, turned into 200.....then 300.... then BAM! there it was, that blasted wall.

It rears its ugly head at different places for different people and activities, but it always shows up. No matter how many times you tear it down, it is magically resurrected by the next workout... but I suppose that is part of the fun. One thing I have noticed is that the more you consistently fight through it, the easier it becomes to fight the next time ("attitude memory"...similar to muscle memory). But it's like that game we used to play at recess, "red rover"... if you don't give your all to get through it, or you chose not to try at all, it then owns you and your progress is stopped.

So let me take you through my demolition process:

The first thing I feel when I hit "the wall" is what I will refer to as the resistance band effect (RBE). Picture a massive, thick rubber band.... then imagine tons of them connected to your limbs/muscles, all pulling in the opposite way you want to go.... that is what RBE feels like. There is a heaviness, a breathlessness, and usually some level of pain associated. Thoughts of "I can't do this anymore" are a common symptom.

This is what triggers the first of 3 steps I have identified to get through the wall:

#1. Panic - Your physical state induces a mental moment that shocks the system. When I hit that 300m mark on the swim and felt the RBE, my mind went into survival mode, turning my movements into chaos. Fundamentals? What fundamentals? In this phase, they are thrown out the window. The only purpose for this step is to get you to the next phase, so you best not dwell in it too long. As soon as you realize you have indeed struck the wall, you must allow your mind to enter the next phase. Stop freaking out!

#2. Pause - Now this does not mean that you stop what you are doing. It only indicates the need for taking a brief mental step back to allow yourself to get some kind of grip on this battle. This is where the mind truly takes over the fight and the way I see it you have two main weapons:  distraction or focus on form. This particular swim I chose the latter. And breathing...lots of breathing! My form became my only thoughts - it became my rhythm...you have to re-find your rhythm! "Kick, stroke, BREATHE, keep kicking, etc." You have to think it so loud that your ears can almost hear it, even under water; so loud that the screaming pain of your body becomes muffled by your focus. Each rhythmic cycle chisels away at that wall, one brick at a time.

Mirinda Carfrae - she's awesome

#3. Persistence - Then "just keep swimming" as they say...or running or biking or whatever it is you are doing. Your body may desparately want to revert back to the old ways of panic mode, but that cannot be allowed. Those who do the most damage to their wall and then turn back will find it harder than ever to return. Don't give up the fight. "let the rhythm take you over..." (name that tune!). Gradually, your thoughts can get quieter as your body stops fighting against you. And sooner or later, sometimes without even realizing it, you will be on the other side of the wall, victorious, feeling like you could go on forever.... For me, forever had to stop at 1000m due to time, but the feeling of overcoming is priceless. 

Anyway, that's just me...bring on the next one.

***Where does your wall strike? How do you tear it down? 

Moments of Momentum

Let me introduce you to one of my new best friends. Momentum.

What do I mean by momentum? Some would call it the snowball effect. It's that intangible force that pushes the team that was once down 20, to go on a 15-0 run to put them within arm's length of victory, and it all started with one clutch defensive stop. It's the crazy desire to clean the entire house after experiencing the mere satisfaction of doing one round of dishes. It's the feeling that nothing can stop you after changing your life for the better in the smallest way, giving you the belief that you can overcome the most daunting of your weaknesses. For me, it's 5am.

I say 5am because I usually wake up to feed my little cutie at 4/4:30am. When she was 4 weeks old, I wanted to try jogging again so badly, but with Leilani's schedule, and Landon's schedule, and me trying to adjust and heal, I thought there was no time and that I had no energy. I realized the only time I would be able to workout that week would be in the wee hours of the morning. Oh boy, I am not a morning person. Even when I used to be a full-time missionary, getting up at 6:30am every day was a challenge. Every. Day. But I had done it, and I decided to try this whole morning thing for a different reason - I was already sleep-deprived anyway, why not give it a shot? 

That is when I started recognizing the momentum in my life. I discovered that after I had my baby fed and burped, I was magically more conscious and coherent than I ever thought I would be. Using that momentum of wakefulness, I put on my running garb - it felt so good to tie on those shoes again. That feeling gave me the boost I needed to actually walk out the door and leave my now-sleeping baby in the care of her likewise snoozing daddy. Though it was a slow-paced and slightly achy "run" (if I could even call it that), that was the jump-start of one of my most productive days in weeks. All because I took advantage of the tiny spark of momentum from the beginning and let it keep rollin. Now some of my 5am's are spent at the gym swimming laps in the pool or on the stationary bike climbing "hills". It all starts from the opportunity given to me from my beautiful crying baby in the early morning. She could have been my excuse, but I chose to make her my catalyst. Never mind that it's still dark outside when I go run, I just wear a goofy headlamp! 

And here is what has given me my latest momentum boost:

Landon just bought me my first road bike this week - and the fact that it was a steal of a deal adds to the excitement. Just took her out for the first time yesterday (during the brief moment of dry roads between periods of rain/snow...what's with that?!). I might just name her "momentum" cause now I want to ride again and again!
Good thing, cause I'll be putting in a lot of miles the next several months. 

What gives you momentum? Seize it. Milk it for all it's worth. Don't let it fade. Keep it rollin...